Time does not embrace me.

For as long as I can remember I have never really embraced the concept of time management. My mom was not the mostly timely person and I am not sure where that came from because my grandparents were notoriously on time if not early. It just seems to not matter to me its that I am trying to be rude or make others run late but I guess I just don't operate like that.


I have never been a morning person and have mostly always been an insomniac. I have a hard time falling asleep at the normal hours that others do and that means that I can never get up on time. It actually is something that really irritates me. The fact that I cannot conform like anyone else so in a way I just gave up trying. My mom will say it is because of my tv addiction, which I can sort of concur with but the rest just seems like I have so much to do and not enough daylight to get it all done in.

It would be a miracle if I ever got anywhere I was supposed to be at the time I was supposed to. I have read up on all kinds of different sleep tactics. Keeping the blinds open so that light shines in the room to wake you up, not drinking or eating caffeine and I gave up smoking months ago. I don't work out close to bedtime and try to read a little to make me tired. If someone were to be a fly on the wall during my bedtime rituals they would probably just shake their head. I require two alarms clocks with two alarms a piece on each clock. Plus my husband has one with two alarms on his side of the bed. Even if I get around 7 hours of sleep a night I still do not hear them. I even came to the conclusion well I must be one of those people that just needs 8 or more hours of sleep, which I probably do but the whole having to go to bed early thing just never happens.


My mom would tell me that when I was little that I used to lie there with a pillow in front of the tv and would badly want to fall asleep but was soooo afraid to miss something would practically have one eye shut and the other drooping until she couldn't stand it any longer and would make me go to bed.

Will I ever get past this who knows, it seems to be getting worse. I wish I knew what would help it. Right now I guess I am content to constantly run late.....